Author : Fera Indasari (Lecturer at Raden Fatah State Islamic University, Palembang)Author : Fera Indasari,
With the rapid development of digital communication technology, social life and the way we build relationships have undergone significant changes. Many individuals now form romantic relationships online, but with this convenience comes a new threat in the form of cybercrime, one of which is love scamming. Love scamming, or romance fraud, is a form of cybercrime that exploits emotional connections for financial gain. It involves perpetrators posing as romantic partners and manipulating victims into sending money. This crime is not confined to any single country but has become a global phenomenon affecting people worldwide. This phenomenon causes not only material losses but also deep emotional impacts on the victims. According to an article published by Antaranews.com in August 2024, love scamming tends to target women more frequently. This is supported by reports from the Ministry of Women’s Empowerment and Child Protection (KemenPPPA), which states that the majority of victims of love scamming are women seeking partners or those who feel lonely and have lower literacy levels.
Based on data from fraud reports received by the Customs and Excise Agency, there were a total of 570 fraud cases recorded in November 2024, with 89 of them being romance scams. These cases resulted in material losses amounting to IDR 62,300,000. Recently, a viral video showed an immigration interview where an Indonesian woman revealed her intention to go to Pakistan to meet her boyfriend. In the interview, she was instructed not to tell anyone, including her family, about her trip. Additionally, she admitted to sending money to a man in Pakistan, who is believed to be the fraudster, under the pretext of buying her a flight ticket. And many other cases remain undisclosed because they have not been reported.
Love scamming develops in a very subtle and cunning manner, where perpetrators spend months, or even years, building an emotional connection with their victims. Initially, the relationship appears very genuine and full of affection. However, once the victim feels sufficiently close and trusting, the perpetrator begins to manipulate them by asking for money for various reasons designed to make the victim feel obligated to help. This tactic exploits the victim’s empathy to persuade them into providing financial assistance.
Aside from the financial losses, the emotional impacts on women who become victims of love scamming can include feelings of disappointment, regret, and a loss of trust in future interpersonal relationships. Victims often feel betrayed, and this feeling can persist long after the fraud has been exposed. Therefore, understanding the psychological dynamics involved in this type of fraud is crucial to reducing the risk of victimization, by educating the public about warning signs to watch out for.
Preventing love scamming requires a comprehensive approach, which includes increasing public awareness, updating legal frameworks, and developing technology that can detect and prevent such fraudulent activities. Every country must formulate appropriate regulations to protect its citizens from this threat, while the public must also be engaged in efforts to recognize and report suspicious behaviors. With cooperation between the public, law enforcement, and technology, we can create a safer digital environment for everyone, thus minimizing crimes like love scamming.
It is essential to recognize the communication patterns used by perpetrators, which usually occur in several interconnected stages. In the initial stage, scammers begin building a relationship with the victim through social media or online dating apps. They create a profile that is very attractive and aligned with the victim’s desires, with the aim of gaining attention and trust. Communication at this stage is usually light and does not directly involve money requests.
After the initial relationship is formed, the scammers start introducing personal stories to deepen the emotional connection between them and the victim. They share life experiences that are emotionally compelling, such as loneliness or hardships, making the victim feel emotionally connected. At this point, the victim feels that they have found someone who truly understands them. In some cases, the scammers also use emotional manipulation to create a sense of responsibility or obligation in the victim, making them feel they must help.
As the relationship grows stronger, the scammers begin to make the victim feel very emotionally attached, often using romantic promises or strong declarations of love. They also start introducing opportunities to request financial help, often for urgent reasons such as hospital bills or accidents. The scammers use the victim’s love and emotional dependency to intensify the manipulation, making the victim feel unable to refuse these requests.
Over time, after the victim has given financial assistance once, the scammer will continue to find ways to ask for more money, using increasingly urgent reasons or empty promises of repayment. The gaslighting technique, which makes the victim doubt their reality or feel guilty, is often used to sustain these financial requests. In this way, the scammers exploit the relationship that has been built and continue to manipulate the victim to gain personal benefits.
Based on the understanding of the communication patterns used by love scammers, society must be more cautious when building online relationships, especially through social media or dating apps. It is important not to rush into opening up to someone new, especially if the relationship develops quickly and feels unbalanced. Society must learn to recognize these manipulation signs and not hesitate to question the reasons behind money requests. If there is any doubt, it is highly recommended to consult with friends or family before making any decisions.
Additionally, it is essential to remember that trust should be built over time. If someone you have just met immediately asks for money, it is a red flag to be cautious. Do not rush into giving money, even if they promise to repay it. If something feels suspicious, consult with close friends, family, or professionals to gain a more objective perspective. Love scammers often use gaslighting techniques to make victims doubt their own judgment. If someone makes you feel guilty or questions your judgment, it is a warning sign that you may be manipulated.